


Cooking with David Rose

by KJthePunkAssBookJockey



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 17:53:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17411483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KJthePunkAssBookJockey/pseuds/KJthePunkAssBookJockey
Summary: Three times David tried to cook with various results and one time that he knew not to even attempt it.





	Cooking with David Rose

Patrick’s weekend had been a complete and utter disaster. He had gone home to visit his parents to tell them about David. His mother did not take it well…at all. Disappointed and frustrated, all he wanted to do was go home, spend some time with David, and go to bed. There was no way Patrick could be prepared for the scene that awaited him at Ray’s. The kitchen was filled with smoke while David stood at the stove staring horrified at what looked like charcoal while something smoked in a pot on the next burner.

“Did I miss something? Are we trying to lure hot firemen here?”

Startled, David turned around at the sound of Patrick’s voice. “I was _trying_ to make you dinner. But _something_ is wrong with Ray’s stove.” David’s voice was exasperated and Patrick couldn’t help the smirk that snuck out.

Walking over to David and the disastrous dinner on the stove, Patrick asked, “And what was supposed to be for dinner?”

“Grilled cheese and broccoli cheese soup from _a can_.” The disdain dripped from David when he got to the final two words. His face looked horrified that anyone would eat such thing.

In that moment, Patrick’s bad weekend vanished. He didn’t remember when but he knew he had told David that his mom used to make him that meal as a child when he had a bad day. And even though Patrick knew there were better soups out there than canned broccoli cheese soup and more complex sandwiches than a grilled cheese, for him it was the ultimate comfort food.

The look Patrick shot David was soft and sweet. Patrick then glanced in the pot and would not have been able to tell what it was supposed to be had David not told him. “What exactly did you put in this?”

“Just the soup and the can of milk it called for.” David gestured over to the counter where two cans sat.

Staring incredulously at his boyfriend, Patrick questioned, “Wait, did you use evaporated milk?”

“Of course. It called for one can of milk. That’s a can of milk.” He shot Patrick a look as he heard the laughter bubbling out of his boyfriend. “What other canned milk is there?”

“You were just supposed to fill the empty can up with milk.”

“Well, that’s just stupid. Why don’t they just say a cup of milk or whatever?”

Patrick’s smile was bright as he asked, “and what would you have used for a cup?”

“Ughhh.”

“And is this the new charcoal grilled cheese I’ve heard so much about?”

“I was trying to be _nice_.”

Encircling David in his arms, Patrick leaned in to kiss him as he told him, “I thought we already established that you weren’t nice.”

David shot him another look. Patrick ignored the look and kept kissing him. “Thank you. But please don’t make me eat this.”

 

* * *

 

After the evaporated milk incident as Patrick dubbed it, Patrick decided to teach David how to cook. That’s how Patrick found himself in Ray’s kitchen after the longest trip to the grocery store known to man trying to teach David how to fix quesadillas. Patrick suggested they work on perfecting grill cheese; however, David wanted to try something new. So they were going with a simple quesadilla with cheese, sautéed onions and peppers, and chicken that Patrick had left over from the night before.

“Ok, first we are going to get all of our ingredients ready. So we need to shred the cheese and cut the onions, peppers, and chicken.”

“I still don’t get why we can’t use pre-shredded cheese.”

“It’s not on brand.” Patrick retorted dryly. They had this conversation for what felt like an eternity in the grocery store. Patrick had finally bought a pack of pre-shredded cheese just so he could make David taste the difference between the two. He was sure that once David actually had tasted the two he would understand why pre-shredded cheese never entered Patrick’s (Ray’s) kitchen.

David rolled his eyes as Patrick, tired of this argument, grabbed the block cheese and a grater to put an end to this once and for all. Patrick shredded a handful of cheese and then grabbed the pre-shredded cheese and opened the bag.

“Taste this.” He said as he put the bag in David’s face.

David pulled out a handful of cheese and tasted it. His face scrunched up in disapproval but all he said was “It tastes like cheese.”

Patrick knowing he won but that it was going to take more for David to admit it grabbed some of the cheese he just shredded and told David, “Here try this.”

David opened his mouth as Patrick fed him the freshly shredded cheese.

Patrick watched David’s face as he ate the cheese and could tell that he liked it a lot better than the pre-shredded. “Again, it’s cheese.”

“Really? You can’t tell the difference. You who are always product conscious, wanting the best. You actually think they are the same quality.”

He could tell David was battling with saving face versus admitting that Patrick was right.

“I think they are both perfectly acceptable.”

“Great. We need to use up this monstrosity they call cheese so we will use it on your quesadilla why I will shred some of this cheese and use it on mine since you don’t see the difference.”

David’s face scrunched up while trying to think of how to get out of having the pre-shredded cheese on his. “Well, it seems like it will be trouble to use two different kinds of cheese so we can just both use the cheese you shred.”

“Actually, it will be less cheese for me to shred so it will be easier unless you don’t really think they both taste the same.”

David stared at Patrick trying to figure out if he was bluffing or not. Finally he threw up his hands as he exclaimed, “Ok, fine. You are right. It’s worth it to take the time to shred the cheese. Happy now?”

David’s hands had landed on his hips looking super put out since he had to admit to being wrong. Patrick thought he looked absolutely adorable and just had to kiss the pout off of his face.

Approaching David, Patrick slipped his arms around David’s waist. Leaning in, Patrick whispered against David’s lips, “Yes, extremely.”

David grinned through the kiss and turned them so Patrick was against the counter. As things were beginning to get heated, Patrick shifted his arm knocking the pre-shredded cheese off the counter and all over the floor.

“Well, that’s a shame,” Patrick said straight-faced as he pulled away from David.

“Completely,” David agreed as he pulled Patrick back into his arms.

Patrick vaguely heard the door opening as Ray walked in talking.

“Patrick, what…” He trailed off as he saw the cheese all over the floor.

Detangling from each other, Patrick asked, “What was that, Ray?”

“Ummm, nothing. Just wondering how much longer ya’ll were going to be.”

No longer the least bit hungry for food or interested in learning to cook anymore David piped up, “Oh, well Patrick was just going to clean up the mess he made and then we were going to head upstairs.”

“The mess I made?”

Ray slowly backed out of the kitchen deciding he would head to the Café Tropical as he saw David reaching for Patrick again.

 

* * *

 

Entering the house, Patrick heard commotion coming from the kitchen. He was later than David getting home because they had a few errands that needed doing and he knew if he waited for David to do them, he would be waiting forever.

Walking into the kitchen, Patrick took in the scene before him. Every inch of the counter was covered with mixing bowls, measuring cups, spatulas, and ingredients.

“What’s going on here?”

“I’m making enchiladas.” There was a stubbornness in David’s voice. He had mainly given up on trying to learn/prove that he could cook. But every now and then he would try to prove something to Patrick. Obviously tonight was one of those nights.

“Are you sure that’s safe?”

“I’ve made enchiladas before.” Again the stubbornness poked through.

“According to the story it was only once, with your mother, and you vowed to never do it again.”

“Yes, but tonight I’m making them again. Also, Stevie is coming over with her boyfriend for dinner.”

Ahhhh thought Patrick. This was some stubborn off with Stevie. He might as well just go with it and try to minimize the damage.

“Ok, what can I do to help?”

David looked at him apprehensively as if trying to figure out why he jumped on board so quick.

“Actually, I think that’s part of the problem. You tend to distract me while we are in the kitchen and I can’t concentrate.”

“I distract you?” There was tinge of disbelief in Patrick’s voice.

“Yes, and then I make a mess or get something on me. And to be _helpful_ you come over to help me get if off and we end up making out. And tonight Stevie and Dennis will be here in an hour.”

“Derrick.”

“Whatever.” David flicked his wrist to show it made no difference.

“Ok, fine but the kitchen is already a mess so will you have time to clean it before they come over?”

David looked like a deer caught in headlights. Of course, he wasn’t planning on cleaning the kitchen.

“Well, you are a much better kitchen cleaner than me and I know how you enjoy it so I was going to leave that for you.”

“You’re hopeless.” But there was a fondness in Patrick’s voice as he said it that took the sting out. “Ok, how about this. Do the enchiladas have to go in the oven?”

“Yes. For 30 minutes.”

“Ok, I will go watch some tv while you finish making the enchiladas. Once they are in the oven, I will come in and clean the kitchen while you go and get ready b/c your shirt looks like as much of a disaster as this kitchen. Deal?” Patrick had walked over to David and leaned in for a peck on the lips. Anything more and he knew the mess on David would get on him and he would also have to change.

“Deal. Now out of the kitchen so I can finish with no distractions.”

Patrick lifted his hands up as he left the kitchen and tried not cringe at all the sounds he heard coming from the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

Patrick walked into the house to see the dining room table set for two with candles. Something smelled absolutely delicious. Just as Patrick was about to duck outside to make sure he had the right house, David came down the stairs dressed in black jeans and the sweater that Patrick absolutely loved on him.

“Oh, you’re home.”

“Did you cook?”

“I wanted this evening to be perfect so I might have had some help on that matter.”

Patrick wasn’t sure where to start. He mentally reviewed all the important dates to make sure that there wasn’t something he was forgetting. He knew it wasn’t there anniversary because he still celebrated it monthly much to David’s chagrin. “Perfect? Why?”

David looked caught and quickly tried to change the subject. “Did you want some wine? I’m just going to run into the kitchen and check on a few things. And if you wanted to run upstairs and change you could.”

“So what I’m wearing isn’t perfect?”

David slowed on his way of making a beeline to the kitchen trying to escape and his face softened. “No, you definitely look perfect. No need to change at all.”

Patrick stared after him and thought back to how strange David had been acting the past couple days, especially today. He wondered what his boyfriend was up too.

Voices drifted from the kitchen where Patrick could make out both Ted and Alexis. Well, that answered one question.

Patrick wasn’t sure what he should be doing and looked down to realize that his clothes looked a little worn from being at the store today. Quickly, he went upstairs and changed into dark jeans, a button down shirt, and a suit jacket. As he walked down the stairs, he saw David placing the food on the table.

“Please tell me that Alexis wasn’t doing the cooking?”

David smirked. “Nope, she was just there to slow down the actual cooking process. You look nice.”

“Well, I wanted to be extra perfect.”

David rolled his eyes as he gestured for Patrick to sit down.

Once they were both seated, Patrick looked across the table at his boyfriend. Something was definitely up. Patrick wasn’t sure if he should just enjoy David’s nervousness or pry out what was going on from him right away.

Apparently David’s impatience had rubbed off on him over the years because he found himself asking, “So not that I don’t love surprises, but what’s this all about?”

Again, a look of being caught crossed David’s face. “Weelllllll, I was going to do this after dinner but since you apparently can’t wait I guess I will do this now.”

Patrick just grinned across the table hoping he knew what was coming. His grin slowly started to fade as David just sat there without saying anything else.

Noticing the sweat and accelerated breathing of David, Patrick asked, “David? Are you ok? This is a good surprise right?”

David just stared at him and mumbled to himself, “what I was thinking? I can’t do this.”

Patrick’s heart sank but as he looked across at his boyfriend he saw the nervousness and decided to take the “I can’t do this” as being able to work up the nerve to ask what Patrick was hoping David was planning on asking.

So Patrick took a deep breath and began “Forget about the surprise, David. This dinner is just perfect. In fact, I think our life is pretty perfect. Don’t you agree?” But he gave David no time to respond. “But you know what would make it even more perfect?” At that, Patrick got out of his chair and down on knee.

David seemed to come out of his daze and shouted, “No!”

“No?”

Patrick froze unsure what to do. He really thought this was where David was going. They had talked about marriage. It kept coming up more and more often lately. But now David seemed to be freaking out and shouting “No.” Maybe the “I can’t do this” really was about marriage or their relationship altogether.

“I mean I’m supposed to be asking you. That’s what I was trying to do. That’s why I didn’t cook!” David’s voice was getting louder and louder.

A huge grin broke out across Patrick’s face. “Ask what?”

“Ask you know…” David gestured with his hand.

“No, I don’t.”

“Yes, you do. You’re down on _ONE KNEE.”_

Patrick smirked. “Maybe I was just getting ready to do something dirty to you.”

David huffed out a laugh as Patrick got back in his chair.

“What are you doing?” David looked at him suspiciously.

“You didn’t seem in the mood for something dirty right now so I was just sitting back down so we can enjoy this wonderful dinner that _you_ didn’t make.”

“I’m always in the mood for something dirty.”

At that Patrick grinned and reached across the table for David’s hand. “I love you and this food looks delicious.”

Patrick released David’s hand and began to help himself to the salad and lasagna that David had set on the table. David just stared at him incredulously.

“I hope this isn’t pre-shredded cheese in the salad.”

David huffed in indignation remembering a long ago attempt at making quesadillas. “It’s crumbled goat cheese so no.”

Patrick just grinned and began to dig into the food on his plate.

“What are you doing?” David’s voice rose.

“Ummm, eating.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like what?”

“You asked me about the surprise. You were on one knee.”

“It didn’t seem like you wanted to reveal what the surprise was yet.”

“Uhh…wha…I…” David sputtered.

Patrick stopped what he was doing, looked over at David, and grabbed his hand.

“David, you have this amazing evening planned. You seemed nervous so I was trying to help you with that. But you seemed to have a very specific plan. So I decided to let you reveal everything in your time. I hope I’m not completely off base on what I think this is about. And if it is what I think this is about, you have nothing to be nervous about. But if it’s not, I’ll just enjoy this evening and maybe start plotting my own.”

“I’m screwing this up.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You were going to do it for me.”

“I was just trying to help.”

“This is getting ridiculous.”

“So make it unridiculous.”

“Unridiculous?”

“Yes, I know it’s not a word. But you get my point.”

“Ok, ok. I can do this.” David took a deep breath. He kept ahold of Patrick’s hand but got out of his chair and down on one knee.

“This seems familiar.”

David ignored Patrick’s quip and began with his eyes fixed just past Patrick.

“Patrick, before I met you I never truly felt like I belonged. When we were rich, most people in my life just wanted to be close to me for my money. When we moved here, most people just didn’t understand me. One of the best things I ever did was walk into Ray’s asking for help on my incorporation papers. Even from that day I was so worried about what you thought. You were this cute guy who I thought there was no way I was your type but still I wanted to impress you. Over the years, you have helped me grow both professionally and personally. You get me. You help calm me down when I start to go in a tailspin. I help you come out of your shell. I think we compliment each other. What I’m trying to say is I love you more than Mariah Carey.” At that he looked into Patrick’s eyes and saw that Patrick had a soft smile on his face and his eyes were misty. “Patrick, will you marry me?”

Grabbing David’s face, Patrick kissed him with all his might. Coming up for air, Patrick said, “Yes. Of course.” He then pulled David to his feet and started to pull him towards the stairs.

“What about dinner?”

“It’ll keep. I want to celebrate with my fiancé.”

A huge grin broke out across David’s face as he let Patrick lead him upstairs.


End file.
